Break!

So where has this page of my life gone. Have I forgotten about it…NO! Then where, where did I wander off to, only to come back in search of my escape.

Yes, escape…from this mundane, moronic, manic everyday life (read routine). Ya, I don’t think its life anymore when you merely exist to meet ends at work and home. Trampled upon by stresses of urban life, I am dead tired of shouting out for a break. (Plizz to note – which I haven’t taken in the last 2 years). Phew!

All that revolves in my mind, day in day out is - when will I take a break and escape from this madness. Now you ask – what’s stopping me? Right? Responsibilities baby, responsibilities…of being a good daughter, wife, daughter-in-law, professional etc. etc. Blah Blah!

But I am sick of running around fulfilling other people’s needs and sacrificing what, I actually wanna do. I want to rest, sleep, relax, stop and smell the flowers, listen to birds chirping or even music, not think about work or the next chore at home and above all want to be pampered. Don’t I deserve it after all this chaos. But more than that I need a maid! (Is god reading?) Coz if I get that, most of these problems will vanish.

OK can’t write about my problems anymore…makes me sick! Ciao

Emotionless

There comes a time in life when you feel tired of running after things, when you feel that you have done everything you could to achieve what you wanted, whether you got it or not doesn't bother you. Suddenly life becomes a blank slate. A passionless phase, where there is no vigour to achieve anything anymore. Every day becomes a mundane task. Nothing excites you, nothing makes you happy.

And you look back at your life as if this was your dying phase and see that it wasn't remarkable anyway. Materialistic things don't matter anymore...you only look back to see who you were...were you a good daughter/son, a good sister/brother, a good friend, a good wife/husband or a good mother/father? Yet you find no substantial answer for these questions. And your life becomes a question itself. What was so great about it anyway? Was it worthy of anything? In dismay you wander in thoughts for answers. You weren't good enough for anyone anyway.

You hold on to god for salvation...your only hope! You wish to die to end the agony of these haunting questions. You become emotionless...nothing seems to affect you. A void surrounds you...you become immune to the offerings of life and emotions.

Like a broken dead leaf fallen from the tree...with no colour, no life and nothing to hold on to...you wait to be trampled upon or rot till your existence is culminated.

I respect

Have you ever come across people in your life, who touch your heart in a special way that you form a very heart-melting admirable opinion of respect about them?

I recently came across someone like the above in my office. He’s a coy, sweet, 45 something gentleman who runs around to do our administrative chores. A soft spoken man, who does not know much about technology or emails and neither can he speak a word of English, Naveen bhaiya (as we all address him) has spent a good 10 years in this office. As he walks down towards the office from the bus stop every morning, he holds a petite thaila which has his lunchbox. He enters the office and wishes us with his gapped tooth smile as he slowly passes by each desk to check for our attendance.

Last Friday his smile had extended to fill his dusky complexioned cheeks with more colour as he announced that he was getting his first entire weekend off in his 10 years of dedicated service. And we all burst into celebrated cries of congratulations for him. A reserved man, he comes down and sheepishly asks us for our daily bills and couriers every evening.

I don’t know why, but my heart goes out to him, full with respect. I get a very heart-warming feeling for this man whenever I see him. His dedication to this office and how he bears with the unorganised environment and yet always has that gappy-tooth smile, is exemplary.

I feel resentful when the owner of the company humiliates him in front of everyone, because of his slow paced and old time approach. Not understanding where this man comes from, how can he know what standards are involved in dealing with top notch designers and luxury retail brands. But I guess both have worked with each other for so long that they have formed that love and hate relationship of can’t and yet have to work together.

But still I feel sorry and sad for this man when I see him standing submissively bearing all the scolding. I can’t bear it and my eyes fill up with tears. I so wish I could do something for him and it makes me angry that I can’t. I pray to god, to bless this man with all the happiness and hope that his smile stays forever!

Memories

As I waited for the last minute confirmation from my travel agent, I hurriedly pack my suitcase trying to shove in everything possible that I needed for my trip. My toiletries, the hair dryer, my boots and my coats all go in. Yeah! I was traveling to a cold country.

Getting out of the house, I juggle between thoughts like whether I have packed everything I needed or will I miss my flight. Thankfully, I manage to make it to the plane. I put my luggage into the overhead hold and strap myself to the seat. And then everything goes black, the next thing I see is that I have already reached my destination.

Getting out of the airport I see pearly white roadsides. The tyres of the cab make a slush-slush sound against the last night’s snow on the road and I behold the skyscraping horizon of Manhattan. Yes – I am in New York. The much awaited or should I say the never imagined or dreamt trip, has come true.

Our first day in NY and everything looked amazing. I remember the last time I saw snow was when I was 3 years old at the Rohtang Pass in Manali. But who really remembers that, it’s just a memory from the photographs. So technically I was seeing snow for the first time since I came to my senses. We make our way to the Central Park. The landscaped panorama is breathtaking, reminds you of a snapshot out of a Christmas card. Snowy trees with a hint of green grass and semi frozen lake looked overwhelming. Excited as we were, the first thing that came to our mind was snow fighting, we started making snowballs and hitting each other. Ah! The feeling when the flakes smash against your face. Too hard to describe in words…

…and then the alarm went off! Sigh! It was time to get up and go to work!

Humble request

I have a request for all the those sexy, sleek, elegant, luxury sedan and limo owners of the city.

PUSH THE PEDAL AND MOVE YOUR ASS!

I mean what's the point in spending so much of money and owning a car with great horsepower when you are not going to use it. There is a speedometer in there that goes up to 180 km/hr (or more), please make use of it. I am not suggesting to push it to the limit but please move beyond the pace of a tortoise. The fast lane has been given that name for a specific reason. Please don't drag at the speed of 40 km/hr on it. Even the traffic regulations allow you to move at 50 km/hr.

And to all those who have given these lovely automotive artworks in the hands of the drivers, please your car won't scratch if it moves beyond 40 km/hr on an empty road. And why drivers, I mean don't you wanna feel the wheels yourself when you own such amazing beauties. I would rather drive it, if I ever owned one. The look on the poor driver's face seems as if he's been held at gunpoint to drive the car and the moment he goes beyond 40, he will be shot.

Then there are those drivers who think that just because they drive a luxury car, they own the road. No indicator and they will turn towards you as if you were invisible. And when you give that glare, there faces would turn red and you will be able to read clearly 'F you, don't you see the size of my car, buddy...let it off or should I start telling you my dad's contacts' Blah!

But please give your cars the respect they deserve. At least drive faster when the roads are empty. Or small car drivers (like me) will feel disgusted and at the same time super great when they overtake you and shrug you off saying 'kya fayda aisi gaadi ka, humari sahi bhaagti hai'

Back in business

After much resistance I just could not help the temptation of posting that I have landed myself a decent J.O.B. Why resistance? Off late I have been quite superstitious about blowing my own trumpet. But whatever.

My current state of mind - CALM...not excited...OK, slightly fearful of what the future holds for me.

I think its natural to feel this way after being out of work for 10 months.

Area of work - A small but decent PR agency dealing in high end luxury clients

Perks - Very close to home, ummmm....decent pay package (ok not so great, but its fine), the segment I always wanted to work in, a great deal to learn and set my basics right.

Worries - Devil Wear's Prada type work environment, fearful of insane bosses (don't know yet)...especially after the previous ordeal.

I don't know how to react right now, coz its not the dream job, yet it could turn out to be one. Everything is very hazy...I dunno what to expect. Too many hesitations, interpretations and apprehensions. Probably the toughest decision of my life (so far).

Praying!

Retail therapy is toxic

I had an amazing time shopping with friends over the weekend. The best part was that it not planned. I am sure all of you must have had this feeling that when you go shopping with a plan, you never seem to find the right stuff. So I went with an intention to just have fun and ended up having even more fun. Below are the beautiful things I picked up during this impromptu shopping spree.

First were these lovely printed PJs. PJs are everyones best friend, they are comfy and you somehow never feel tired of wearing them. So I decided to get myself brightly coloured ones this time. Hoping to match them with lovely kurti's for a day out as well.

Then was this lovely long dress cum top. I just loved the print, couldn't shake it off. Well it wasn't a requirement, but it looked simply great. Planning to wear it with black tights or just like that with a belt. Drool!

The best buy of the day was these gorgeously bright harem pants. I have been looking for one for a really long time. And I got exactly what I wanted.

The impulse buy was this lovely, classy top. Don't you just love the neckline. The best part about this one is that I can wear it casually during the day yet carry it off with great shoes for a gala evening.

OK now I wanna go out.